How to discuss a stairlift with an elderly relative
As we age, we may start to face mobility challenges. Though a natural part of life for many, changes in mobility can cause frustration and concern not just for those experiencing the change, but their loved ones, too. If your senior relative has started showing signs of struggling with stairs, the best solution for their comfort and your peace of mind could be a stairlift.
Unfortunately, approaching a conversation like this can sometimes be difficult. From reluctant parents to stubborn grandparents, some relatives may have a hard time accepting the help a stairlift offers. In this post, we’ll share with you what to look out for in senior relatives, what some of their arguments may be, and how best to speak to them when discussing stairlifts.
Does your senior relative need a stairlift?
First, it’s important to identify whether your relative definitely needs a stairlift. There are many signs that someone could benefit from a stairlift, including:
- Stair avoidance – Is your family member doing whatever they can to avoid the stairs, such as sleeping on the sofa or moving essential items (clothes, toiletries) downstairs?
- Stair anxiety – Have you noticed your family member behaving nervously on the stairs, such as moving much slower than usual or gripping the bannister with both hands?
- Dependence on others – Is your family member only using the stairs when someone else is, by either holding onto them or ensuring they’re walking in front of them on the stairs?
These signs and others indicate it may be time to consider discussing a stairlift installation in a relative’s home.
What to prepare for when talking to senior relatives
When approaching a conversation with elderly people about home mobility aids, it’s good to be prepared for certain arguments. Here are a few push-backs to expect when having the stairlift conversation with senior family members:
Appearance complaints
A common argument against stairlifts is that they look ugly. Older homeowners worry that a stairlift will change the appearance of their house, making it less attractive to both themselves and their guests. Concerns around the damage a stairlift’s installation can cause are also often used in arguments.
Fortunately, the professional installation of a stairlift onto a staircase results in no damage, only neat holes from bolts that can be very easily filled and painted over if the stairlift is removed. In terms of appearance, modern stairlifts are sleek and compact, and are available in various shades should someone want to match it to their home’s decor.
Usage complaints
Another argument when speaking to senior relatives is that the stairlift is going to get in the way of other users by creating an obstacle on the staircase. However, this isn’t the case; stairlift rails are slim and unobtrusive, allowing very clear navigation for anyone wanting to climb the stairs on foot. The seat itself sits neatly tucked to the side at the bottom of the staircase, so will never get in the way if properly parked.
Seniors will sometimes push the idea that a stairlift will be uncomfortable and hard to use. The good news is that stairlift seats are cushioned, and most models come with armrests and a footrest, ensuring complete comfort for riders.
Personal concerns
Personal worries are very often the private root of all other complaints. Getting to a point where your body needs help to get around can be incredibly overwhelming. Seniors have reported feeling weak, old, and frail when confronted with needing help to navigate staircases. Many of us take the ease of climbing stairs for granted, so this change can be frightening to seniors.
All you can do in the face of these concerns is provide comfort, confidence, and support. Next, we’ll discuss how to approach the subject of a stairlift.
What to say when suggesting a stairlift to a relative
When talking to elderly parents, grandparents, or other senior family members about installing a stairlift, it’s essential to approach it with sensitivity. Regardless of how well you know them, until the conversation actually happens, you won’t know exactly how it’s going to go.
Before beginning, we recommend establishing shared goals of everyone involved. These will be personal, depending on the situation and the seniors involved. Some examples of these goals are:
- Preserving their independence
- Removing the pressure of feeling like a burden to loved ones
- Ensuring they don’t need to leave their current home
- Eliminating their unnecessary stress, pain, and fatigue
We advise bearing the following in mind when talking to your loved one:
Keep it considerate
Consider how they must be feeling about the situation and throughout the conversation. This is even more important if speaking to a parent; they are used to being the parent, and this may feel like the roles have been reversed, which can feel embarrassing to some. Show them respect and be considerate of their feelings. Listen with patience, and ensure they feel heard throughout. If the talk feels almost like an attack, then the relative may become defensive, which is likely to result in even more pushback.
Keep it positive
The stairlift conversation does not need to be a negative one. Keep the tone light and positive, as a better mood typically leads to better results. Emphasise the positive outcomes of a stairlift, rather than what your relative may perceive as negatives.
For example, highlight how a stairlift can ensure they stay independent at home; they can make their way up and down their stairs without needing to rely on anyone for help. Talk positively about how much easier this could make things in their daily life, and how it’ll mean they can continue to live in their beloved multi-storey home for much longer.
You will know your family member better than anyone else, so trust your instincts. If you know they’ll react poorly to you expressing your own worry, then avoid touching on that aspect at all. Stick to the positives so the stairlift is painted in a good light.
Keep it confident
It’s important to sound confident throughout the conversation, even if you’re feeling nervous or concerned. Your senior relative may be feeling worried, defensive, or even scared at the prospect of a stairlift, so it’s up to you to keep them reassured.
Speak calmly, offer facts if they’d respond well to them, and ensure they see you as completely confident in your belief that a stairlift is a great solution for them. Emotional regulation is key!
Keep it collaborative
A fantastic way to ensure the conversation doesn’t come off as one-sided and pushy, which could lead to your senior family member getting defensive or stubborn, is to ensure the chat is collaborative. Give them plenty of chances to talk about how they feel, listen patiently, and address those concerns calmly and confidently.
Ask them questions instead of forcing statements onto them to ensure they feel their personal autonomy is being respected. Everyone, no matter their age, wants to feel that their decisions are their own, so ensure their input is valued and that they have some ownership over the final decision. Working together towards common ground is always the best way forward.
How to choose the right home stairlift for an elderly person
Talking to your senior family member about getting a stairlift in their home can feel nerve-wracking, but with our advice and your own instincts, it doesn’t need to be. Keep it considerate, positive, confident, and collaborative, and emphasise just how much a stairlift can improve their life.
Here at Ransome Mobility, we sell and install stairlifts for all staircase types, including curved stairlifts, which can be constructed specifically for curved staircases. No matter the complexity of their stairs, we can find and install the right stairlift to improve their life and ease your concerns for their well-being.
Are they intending to move eventually, or only need a stairlift temporarily? We can help. We offer a stairlift rental service, enabling your relative to benefit from all the positives of a stairlift for a specific length of time.
Sometimes, a stairlift isn’t quite right for your relative’s needs. For those cases, we also offer wheelchair lifts, perfect for those who use a wheelchair. Our range of mobility aids helps create a more accessible home, greatly improving comfort, safety, and peace of mind.
Get in touch with our friendly and knowledgeable team today for more advice, our stairlift recommendations, and other mobility aid support.